Pangs

Every day last week, I returned to my flat pretty convinced that I have the coolest job on the planet.

One day I was perched at the Cape High Court – one of an army of HIV-Positive t-shirts – observing the case that TAC is pursuing against Matthias Rath and the Government for violations of the Medicines Act. Our lawyer argued well and I think that the judgment will come in our favour, forcing Rath to stop selling his unregistered medicines as a cure for AIDS.

Another day, for the next issue of Equal Treatment, I was interviewing Zimbabwean refugees who are waiting to be processed by the Department of Home Affairs in line-ups that are months long downtown. These people had unbelievable stories to tell and I can’t wait to see my article in print.

I’m really, really happy here. I am gaining invaluable experience at work and savouring all that Cape Town's summer has to offer in the evenings and on weekends.

Bringing St Paddy's down South.

But pangs of doubt hit me.

Do Western volunteers bring valuable skills to Africa, or are we occupying positions that native citizens should be trained and remunerated for? I could get work in my home country. Should I stay there, and leave Africa for Africans?

Do journalists create awareness, or just publish compelling stories by exploiting other people’s pain? The Zimbabwean refugees whom I interviewed are still sleeping on sidewalks, five days after I met them. Don’t I owe them something more, after they gave me their stories?

And another thing – I remember that very early in my stay, I was appalled by how middle-class South Africans could live such fine lives in the midst of abject poverty. When did it become easy for me to accept, to adopt the same carefree lifestyle? How unjust is it that I’ve enjoyed more of what South Africa has to offer than most of its citizens?

Case in point: my friend Courtney and I are spending the Easter long weekend in Namibia, South Africa’s neighbour to the north-west, a place that has been described to me as “God’s own country.” I'm really looking forward to it. We fly out of Cape Town on Wednesday morning; spend two nights in Windhoek (Namibia’s capital); drive to the coast for three nights at Long Beach; and then make our way back to South Africa on Easter Monday.

Story of my life.

The varied landscapes, the diverse cultures, the relationships I've built compel me. For better or for worse,

I’ll always be making my way back to South Africa.